Dating a borderline girl

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"The intensity of her erotic passion can sweep you away, but her motive is double-edged," writes California-based therapist Roger Melton on the borderline personality disorder support site "One side of it comes from the instinctually built-in, turbulent emotionality of her disorder…But the other side of her is driven by an equally instinctually and concentrated need to control you."“It’s not really about sex,” says Susan Lindau, a Los Angeles-based licensed clinical social worker who treats borderline personality disorder.Small issues, yes, but they seemed like the entire world to me; she would forget to text me in the morning, and I would convince myself that she hated me.We would get into a small argument, and my anger would be so real and palpable that momentarily, it would consume me– but then an hour later she would tell me that she loved me, and I would melt back into contentment.Or consider the complex and glamorous young Glenn Close, when she first walks on screen in Fatal Attraction.

Chaos can have a bewitching allure, particularly when it comes in the form of a whip-smart, dead-sexy woman with ferocious impulses, deep emotional scars and no real sense of self. Think Marilyn Monroe, a sex bomb who cloaked her own psychic wounds in breathy splendor while, privately, teetering on the edge of oblivion.

“It’s much more about having that anchor, that comfort, that definition: ‘I am a person because I have this relationship.’”Of course, the men who are drawn to women with BPD often have issues of their own.

On the surface, the attraction can look like run-of-the-mill infatuation.

Throughout the majority of my high school career, I was holistically and deeply consumed by the experience of my first love.

Everything was new to me, and the world of dating was unfounded territory that I had only previously dangled a foot into before quickly retreating – and when it first began, it was absolutely thrilling.

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